The Most Epic WTF Moments ever!
by PyroPotter
Summary: Way too many categories, but primarily Halo and Portal. T for now.
1. Halo is made by Aperture Science? LOLWUT

_**A/N: Wait what? A humor story from PyroPotter? And a crossover to boot? What trickery is this? Well, I have decided to let out my schizophrenic, dual-personality, humorous, creepy, entertaining, drop-dead weird side. Enjoy… *evil laughter***_

_**Random list of categories that will appear in this story: Pokémon, Halo, Portal, Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Prototype, inFamous, Star Wars, Call of Duty, Jurassic Park, Mass Effect, Happy Wheels, Minecraft, Terraria, Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, and a few others that I'll think about later. Updated list will be at the beginning of each chapter.**_

Chapter 1: Halo is made by Aperture Science? LOL WUT?

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It was, of course, a bright sunny day on the Halo. The Covenant had somehow vanished and the Spartans decided to have a great day. So Master Chief, his holiness of awesome badassness, stood and looked around. He walked over to a random corpse on the ground and starts teabagging it. Because, obviously, that's part of his job description. _Be put on steroids, save the universe multiple times, be badass, and teabag things._ After a while, he gets bored and goes on a walk.

Randomly during his walk, he encounters an AK-47, a Pikachu, and a pokeball. He picks up the Pokeball and AK-47, pockets the Pokeball, and shoots at defenseless Pikachu.

_Master Chief uses AK-47! It's not very effective…_

_ What the fuck was that?_, he thinks to himself as the booming voice comes out of nowhere. Suddenly, as if magic, he becomes frozen in place, unable to move.

Then a bolt of lightning struck him. He hears the voice, _Pikachu uses Thundershock! It's super effective!_

He vaguely hears _Master Chief has fainted!, _as he drifts into the land of unconscious concussion victims.

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As he ran through it, he saw a few other people but he recognized none. A pale blond kid in green robes, a hobo, some random soldier, a woman. _Is that… MOM? _He thinks, but shakes the thoughts out of his head and continued running.

He starts reaching some blankness but just closes his eyes and keeps running. When he opens his eyes again, all he sees is white space. He couldn't tell if there was a difference between floor and ceiling, and if there was, he couldn't find it. Suddenly, a blue flash came and he saw a portal appear. He ran through it, hoping it would take him somewhere familiar.

It didn't (shocking, eh?).

As he looked around, he could tell he was still on the Halo, but he didn't recognize where exactly. A woman in her mid-twenties came towards him, giving him a look that purely said _Who are you and where the __fuck__ did you come from? _So he gave her the short version of his life story, which still managed to last an hour, thirty-eight minutes, and five-point-six seconds.

By the end the woman looks extremely annoyed with him, and obviously disbelieving.

In the voice of someone who hasn't spoken in years she says "Ha. I'll believe that just as soon as GLaDOS admits that she's cruel and heartless." (guessed who our mystery guest is yet?).

So Master Chief replies, "Lady, I don't know who you are, where you're from, or who GLaDOS is. I just wanna get back home."

"The name's Chell, even though you probably already know that, right?" She puts a lot of poison into that last word, and none of it is lost on Master Chief.

"No, I don't know you or where I am, so can you just take me back home?"

She gives a light chuckle. "Home? We're stuck in between dimensions, and you wanna go home? I would take you, but I don't know how to get out of here,"

As if on cue, a loud voice rings out, more metallic and feminine than the one from earlier, but no stranger to tragedy.

"Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science HALO ring, the Humane Aftershock Luminator Object, part of the Aperture Science Inter-Dimensional Initiative. If I am talking to you, you are presumably alive, so please take a seat."

_**You like? You get to guest star in the next chapter if you recognize all of the unconscious concussion victims. HINT: Their respective categories are Harry Potter, Star Wars, Mass Effect, and Hunger Games. If you know where I came up with that place, you get to star in chapter 3!**_

_**Leave suggestions for next dimension in reviews, and as always, have nice day. (FPSRussia forgive me!)**_


	2. Random filler chapter With Guest Stars!

_**A/N So, I'll wait till Chapter 3 to introduce whoever won, and right now I has Random filler chapter to make you happy.**_

_**ALSO, in reviews tell me if you want me to proofread or if it's funnier if I type fast and don't look back**_

_**In this chapter, multiple First Person POV**_

This is Text of Chell

**This is Master Chief's Text**

_**This is The Author**_

This is Alex Mercer

_And this is Katniss'_

_**Random Comments Here!**_

Chapter 1.5: Is Random Filler Chapter to make you happy.

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So, here we are, in a room gagged, locked in and starving. Not to mention the darkness and almost lack of clothing. Any of you wanna explain what happened?

_**I will…**_

_STFU Pyro. I got us into this mess, I get us out._

If it's her fault, can I consume her?

_**Mercer… We talked about this, no consuming friendlies!**_

__Come ON!

**Idiots…**

_**Excuse Me?**_

___Excuse Me?_

Excuse Me?

Excuse Me?

**Um… I said Idaho. I could go for some Idaho potatoes…**

_**That is way too overused.**_

___**Matthew Stronba has joined the Dark, abandoned Prison Cell**_

___**His Speech is **_**Bold and Underline**

_**Wait a second… You're my OC character! Why are you here?**_

__**I seriously have no idea.**

** So, anything interesting happen in the random week since we got trapped here?**

**Not much. Some guy named Corianus Ice or something is president, and Food Battles are deadlier.**

_**That sounds way too familiar for my liking**_

___Mine too._

Hey guys? How 'bout we start making escape plans?

_**Guard has joined the conversation**_

___**STFU! I CAN HEAR YOU!**_

___**Guard: Consumed by Alex Mercer… FOREVER ALONE**_

___**Random Hobo: I'M HERE!**_

___**Guard: STFU**_

**Mercer! WTF man?**

You people should be thanking me. I saved your asses. NOW HURRY UP BEFORE I CONSUME KATNISS!

_HURRY THE HELL UP!_

_**Katniss Everdeen has left the conversation**_

___**Alex Mercer has left the conversation**_

___**Master Chief has left the conversation**_

___**Chell has left the conversation**_

___**PyroPotter has left the conversation**_

_ Noobs… _Pyro thinks to himself as he steps over bottles and wonders just how much beer they drank.


	3. Quadruple Time!

**And now, I would like to congratulate BiPolar UniCorn on getting the challenge correct! The answers were: Draco Malfoy, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Commander Shepard, and Effie Trinket!**

**Title: **The most epic WTF moments!

**Chapter: **3. Our group quadruples in members

**Author: **PyroPotter

**Beta: **None yet!

**Rating for this Chapter: **T for tomfoolery

**Pairings: **Chief/Chell, Mercer/Katniss *may change*, Jaida/Harry, Pyro/Hermione

**Warnings: **Badly written fluff and my usual crap.

**Summary: **Way too many categories, but primarily Halo and Portal. T for now.

**Disclaimer: **So many crossovers I'll go all out and say it: I DON'T OWN THE UNIVERSE.

**A/N **Back to the Humor! F*CK! Just kidding, I sorta like this.

Chapter 3.

Our group quadruples in size.

The two sat, frozen in their chairs as the meanings of the words sink into their minds.

_Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science HALO ring, the Humane Aftershock Luminator Object, part of the Aperture Science Inter-Dimensional Initiative. If I am talking to you, you are presumably alive, so please take a seat_

Chell, of course, knew what Aperture was and recognized the voice as GLaDOS'. She tugged on Chief's arm, motioning that they should leave. As soon as Master Chief nods, she starts dragging him towards the door.

"Ow! What was that for?" Chief asks in an annoyed voice.

"I'll explain later!" Chell continues to drag Master Chief down the halls quickly.

After a while, she reaches a door and opens it, quickly running inside. The lights turn on and an announcer voice says "Hello visitor! Sadly, this is not a visitor zone, so you must leave before the subjects wake, or GLaDOS will kill you!"

The last few words where said hurriedly, as if the voice was truly scared of GLaDOS. But all Chell could keep her mind on was _Subjects_. Hadn't Wheatley told her that all the other subjects were dead?

She took one more step when the clanking began. It was sort of soft at first, but grew louder and louder until it was deafening. She risked one more step and a panel on the wall hissed open. She expected a spray of bullets or some neurotoxin and flinched, and then she noticed that it seemed to be some sort of cryofreezing chamber.

A girl walked out of it, looking no older than her early twenties, and looked around a while before she noticed Chell. They stared at each other until the girl said "Hello. My name is Jaida. Jaida Oglesby. Call me Jaida."

Chell stared before responding "I'm Chell. I have no idea what my last name is."

"Oh," was all Jaida managed.

"So," Chell tried to change the subject, "The loud voice said _subjects_, not subject. Where's the other one?

"I'm pretty sure he's a little farther down the hall, because the guards who held him continued walking while I was put in my cryofreezing chamber."

"Ok," Chell said as she continued down the hall as Master Chief yelled "It might be a trap!" As she went farther down the hall the walls glowed orange, and scorch marks were visible.

After avoiding many small fires and pools of slag metal, she reached a battered door with a password-locked panel. She punched the panel and the door opened. A boy of about 19 or 20 stumbled out and fell right on his face, clutching a laptop. He had black hair, glasses, and a sort of deranged look.

Before thinking, Chell said to Jaida "What's wrong with him?"

Jaida replied, unfazed, "Schizophrenia, dual-personality, OCD, delusional, and some other stuff I'm not supposed to tell you."

The boy stood up and put out one of his hands, righting his glasses with the other. "Hello! My name is Pyro. I'm a tech expert on- " he was cut off by Jaida scolding him.

"Pyro! They don't know anything!"

Pyro seemed brought back to reality and mumbled "My bad" before hurrying down the hallway towards the main passage, screaming "Follow Me!"

As they continued, their group having doubled in size, they noticed the passage began to slant upwards. The Chief and Chell were used to rigorous physical exercise, but Jaida and Pyro had been in cryofreeze for who-knows-how-long, and they weren't used to it, so they started lagging behind.

Eventually, the passage started evening out again and the group noticed two figures up ahead. As Jaida and Pyro planned the attack, Master Chief ran forward screaming "AMERICA!" and threw himself at the two figures. Around the same time Master Chief found himself suspended in midair, Jaida and Pyro noticed who the figures were.

"Harry, Hermione, so nice to see you!" The two friends ran up to hug them and they had a big group hug.

"We haven't seen you in so long! What happened and why are you here?" Hermione asked.

"We kept going on our adventures but then these guys picked us up and used us to power their interdimensional machine." Pyro and Jaida reply at the same time.

Chell interrupted before Hermione could respond. "What do you mean they used you to power this place?"

"It's a long story better explained in a less dangerous setting" Pyro replied, to which Harry, Jaida, and Hermione nodded.

"Well," Jaida said, "Right now we have to get your green armored friend out of the air."

"He's not my friend. And how did you put him up there? Repulsor fields? Anti-Gravity? WHAT?"

Harry hesitated. "Should we?" he asked to Jaida and Pyro

In unison they replied "Okay,"

Harry turned to Chell. "Well, you see, me and Hermione are wizards."

Somehow Chell found that believable.

Hermione quickly waved her wand and got Master Chief down from the middle of the passage.

"Okay," said Pyro. "Let's continue!"

The group of five friends and one random guy continued through the passage and eventually came to the main exit. They played rock-paper-scissors to see who would risk their neck checking if the coast was clear and, of course, Pyro lost.

He looked through the door and saw Alex Mercer and Katniss Everdeen in a heated discussion, and it was clear things would get gory fast if no one stopped them. On a happier note, this was the exit.

"Oh yeah, well why don't you shut the fuck up, you seventeen year old bitch?" Mercer yelled at Katniss

Katniss was obviously about to pull her bow when Pyro walked in the room. "Hey guys, long time no see, eh?"

"Hey" Katniss said as Mercer said "What's up?" The two were trying to ignore each other.

"Jaida, Chell, Harry, Hermione, Green Dude, meet Katniss Everdeen, the best archer ever," He gestured to Katniss and she actually blushes, "and Alex Mercer, a living multipurpose weapon."

Mercer responds with "I LIKE TO BLOW SH*T UP!"

"Anyways, we have time for pleasantries later. Let's go!"

The group of eight people left, quadruple the amount of people they had a few hours ago


End file.
